Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Abortion, again? Really?


I am most likely preaching to the choir, as I am lucky enough to be surrounded by lovely, feminist men...but I'm severely rageful and have to get this out. If I want to have an abortion and wear the "baby's" bones as a fucking necklace...that's my right. Why?

Because the paltry wad of cells a man shoots toward my cervix is the extent of his physical involvement in the matter.

Should a baby come to term, I carry it. I deal with the morning sickness, the flat feet, the heartburn, the abused and battered and broken body. I could be forced to experience vaginal tearing, dystocia, or, worst case scenario, death. Should I be fortunate enough to experience a breezy, pleasant pregnancy, with zero symptoms outside of glowing skin and an aura of maternal calm, I know myself...I would 1. hate or resent the child, or 2. feel absolutely nothing for it.

I know what you're thinking...how could someone so consistently pleasant, with such a sunny disposition, possibly foster such cold feelings toward an infant? Shocking, I know.

Being a mother, in our culture, means a lot of things. In my experience, a LOT of people in our culture believe that it is the sole event that ushers a woman toward becoming a complete human being. Women who cannot (or choose not to) experience this phenomenon are seen as lesser creatures. Cold, selfish, incomplete. Not by everyone, of course, but the majority. Motherhood gives women a reason to live, to be noticed. Example: had she not had a passle of children that she couldn't afford with a cheating douchebag, no one would know that fucking Kate Gosselin existed. She's as deep as a puddle at high noon, with a bad dyke spike haircut and deplorable taste in men. She's a nobody. Same for Nadya Suleman.

Being a mom is awesome, it's to be applauded, it is heaven on earth...if you want to do it. Want to know what happens to a woman who has kids, even though, deep down, she knows she probably shouldn't? That, secretly, kids annoy the shit out of her outside of that first five minutes that she finds them cute? A woman whose friends keep jumping up her ass about the "joy of motherhood", when they don't even stop to think that some women really don't give a FUCK about the adorable booties and the adorable diapers and the pants-shitting "joy" of being covered in vomit and shit until the kid learns to use the toilet?

I don't know, maybe you should ask Casey Anthony.

Abortions are necessary for a lot of reasons. Rape, incest, life-threatening complications can occur...and those are always the first defense that women bring to the table when defending our (already granted and perfectly legal) right to an abortion. All are completely legitimate. In my opinion, however, women are not NEARLY CUNTY ENOUGH when it comes to defending our right to feel how we feel. I don't want kids. I won't say that I never will, but I find it HIGHLY doubtful. Whatever starry-eyed asshole conservative douchebag believes that, upon gazing at my child's face, I would suddenly have an overwhelming urge to cuddle it and love it and sprinkle it with fairy dust and treasure it's widdle head forever and ever...you, sir or madam, do not know me. I'd put that thing up for adoption faster than Michelle Bachmann signs her welfare checks...excuse me, foster parent's public assistance check. I would absolutely feed it and clothe it and hold it and read to it and treat it with all the tenderness that a newborn deserves, until I could find a loving, sane, stable family with which to place it (whom I would screen to absolute hell and back, to verify said qualities).

I would not look back. That is my right, and it does not make me a monster. It makes me a woman who knows what the fuck she wants, and who the fuck she is. It makes me someone who does not want to put a child through the pain of being resented by it's own mother just so she can flounce with all her friends at Baby Gap.

Men are the main presenters of this recent tide of anti-abortion legislation. If you are a man, you have absolutely no right, whatsoever, at all, to put in your two cents when it comes to the children, fetuses, three-day-old cell clusters that occupy the bodies of the women you've never met. You do not experience the physical and emotional pain of pregnancy, childbirth, or motherhood. If the thought of a woman scraping meaningless cells from the walls of her own body parts makes you clutch your pearls in horror...don't fuck women you're not married to. Keep your dick in your pants until you die. Forcing women to keep children that they don't want makes women miserable, and children miserable. There's nothing sadder than being raised by someone who resents you.

Women: we have to speak up, rally, sign petitions, write to our state representatives. I have no need for abortion services, but I will fight for them. We are not cattle, or sows, to be shackled and bred. Do not stay polite and silent.

On behalf of loudmouth cunts everywhere: Keep your hangups to yourself, asshole.

...And for fuck's sake, leave Jennifer Aniston alone.